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May these quotes about Marriage inspire and motivate you.
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
Related topics: Funny
The fewer secrets you have, the happier you will be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A dream you dream alone is only a dream.
A dream you dream together becomes reality.
- John Lennon
Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken
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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect.
If it's not based on respect,
nothing that appears to be good will last very long.
- Amy Grant
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
Marriage is neither heaven nor hell,
it is simply purgatory.
- Abraham Lincoln
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
A divorce is like an amputation:
you survive it, but there's less of you.
- Margaret Atwood
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
You can learn how to let go of the past.
Whether you have experienced a break up
with someone you cared for deeply,
whether death has taken a loved one,
whether you have had a feud with a friend or family member,
whether you have lost a job.
Move on and let go.
Life can be joyful and rewarding again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is no substitute for the comfort supplied
by the utterly taken-for-granted relationship.
- Iris Murdoch
I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous
Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp
The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
- Samuel Johnson [also attributed to Oscar Wilde]
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
- Groucho Marx
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take which course he will,
he will be sure to repent.
- Socrates
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police
because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
- Ilie Nastase
By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates
Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous
My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill
Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.
- Mike Murdock
My Loved One
You are my ground and you are my rainbow.
You are my butterfly and you are my ecstasy.
You are the start of my journeys and always my destination.
You are my home - the place to which I always return.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.
Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
- James A. Baldwin
You are my home - the place to which I always return.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Our loved ones -
whether by blood, by marriage, or by choice -
are delicate treasures.
If we hold them too close, they break -
as a butterfly would.
By honoring and enjoying
the freedom of our loved ones,
we gain our own freedom.
Have the courage to trust that
the beautiful butterflies of your life
will return - or not - as life intends.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken
The greatest roadblock to a great relationship
is trying to force a partner to change through bribes or threats.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Gift the love of your life with undistracted,
untelevisioned, unhurried attentiveness.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck.
If you live through it, you start looking
very carefully to the right and to the left.
- Jean Kerr
The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.
- Robert Anthony
Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.
- Larry David
The hardest of all, is learning to be
a well of affection, and not a fountain,
to show them that we love them,
not when we feel like it, but when they do.
- Nan Fairbrother
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
Don't marry the person you think you can live with;
marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
- James C. Dobson
Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of
becoming passionate friends.
- Harville Hendrix
There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer
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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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