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Spike Milligan Quotes

I hope you find these Spike Milligan Quotes inspiring and motivational.

My Father had a profound influence on me.
He was a lunatic.
- Spike Milligan

Related topics: Funny

Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
- Spike Milligan

I have the body of an eighteen year old.
I keep it in the fridge.
- Spike Milligan


 

It was a perfect marriage.
She didn't want to and he couldn't.
- Spike Milligan

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
- Spike Milligan

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
- Spike Milligan


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For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand.
Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.
- Spike Milligan

It's all in the mind, you know.
- Spike Milligan

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
- Spike Milligan

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Spike Milligan

I can speak Esperanto like a native.
- Spike Milligan

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you
a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No,
it's all in perfect working order.
- Spike Milligan

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare,
but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
- Spike Milligan

I shook hands with a friendly Arab.
I still have my right arm to prove it.
- Spike Milligan

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light,
but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait
until Thursday to be connected.
- Spike Milligan

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan

I'm a hero with coward's legs.
- Spike Milligan

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
- Spike Milligan

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing
until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.
- Spike Milligan

My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca

Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2

My father would take me to the playground,
and put me on mood swings.
- Jay London

It doesn't matter who my father was.
It matters who I remember he was.
- Anne Sexton

So your father, or your mother,
never thought you were good enough - SO WHAT?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards
than being a father to my children.
- Bill Cosby

Dear Father in heaven, I'm not a praying man,
but if you're up there and you can hear me ...
show me the way... show me the way.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

A man cannot speak to his son, but as a father;
to his wife, but as a husband;
to his enemy, but upon terms:
whereas a friend may speak, as the case requires,
and not as it sorteth with the person.
- Francis Bacon

When a father gives to his son, both laugh;
when a son gives to his father, both cry.
- William Shakespeare

My father considered a walk among the mountains
as the equivalent of churchgoing.
- Aldous Huxley

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is a wise father that knows his own child.
- William Shakespeare

The most important thing a father
can do for his children
is to love their mother.
- Henry Ward Beecher

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother
rather than all major credit cards.
- Robert Orben

My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy

I just wish I could understand my father.
- Michael Jackson

I grew up not liking my father very much.
I never saw him cry.
But he must have.
Everybody cries.
- Charley Pride

I was raised by free-spirited people,
though my father gave me a very strong work ethic.
- Diane Lane

My father was the most rational and the most dispassionate of men.
- Simon Newcomb

As a little girl I used to daydream about my real father
coming on a white horse to rescue me.
- Christine Keeler

She got her looks from her father.
He's a plastic surgeon.
- Groucho Marx

Our Father and Our God, unto thee, O Lord we lift our souls.
- William Pennington

It is easier for a father to have children than for
children to have a real father.
- Pope John XXIII

My father taught me that the only way you can make
good at anything is to practice,
and then practice some more.
- Pete Rose

My grandfather, along with Carnegie,
was a pioneer in philanthropy,
which my father then practiced on a very large scale.
- David Rockefeller

It was my father who taught me to value myself.
He told me that I was uncommonly beautiful and that
I was the most precious thing in his life.
- Dawn French

Growing up, I've enjoyed hunting with my father.
- Dale Earnhardt

I wasn't anything special as a father.
But I loved them and they knew it.
- Sammy Davis, Jr.

I get whatever placidity I have from my father.
But my mother taught me how to take it on the chin.
- Norma Shearer

Father told me that if I ever met a lady in a dress like yours,
I must look her straight in the eyes.
- Prince Charles

My father and I have a very good relationship.
We always got along.
But I always scold him.
- Amy Sedaris

My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man.
He was a baker.
- Anthony Hopkins

No man is responsible for his father.
That was entirely his mother's affair.
- Margaret Turnbull

I think Captain Cousteau might be the father of the environmental movement.
- Ted Turner

My father used to sing to me in my mother's womb.
I think I can name about any tune in two beats.
- Yancy Butler

That is the thankless position of the father in the family -
the provider for all,
and the enemy of all.
- August Strindberg

Aeneas carried his aged father on his back from the
ruins of Troy and so do we all,
whether we like it or not, perhaps even if we have never known them.
- Angela Carter

My father, he was like the rock, the guy you went to with every problem.
- Gwyneth Paltrow

My father taught me how to substitute realities.
- Mira Sorvino

But I have to be careful not to let the world dazzle
me so much that I forget that I'm a husband and a father.
- Herbie Hancock

My father invented a cure for which there was no disease
and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
- Victor Borge

I hope I am remembered by my children as a good father.
- Orson Scott Card

A father's disappointment can be a very powerful tool.
- Michael Bergin

I know that I will never find my father in any other
man who comes into my life,
because it is a void in my life that can only be filled by him.
- Halle Berry

It is impossible to please all the world and one's father.
- Jean de La Fontaine

Watching your husband become a father is really sexy and wonderful.
- Cindy Crawford

You don't have to deserve your mother's love.
You have to deserve your father's.
- Robert Frost

When did it become a problem to be a small businessman
and become successful? The small businessman -
like my father,
or like me?
- Glenn Beck


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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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